I stole this from ziggy1203, who had
stolen it from ixbleedxforxu
THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do.
2.DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.
3.Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.
4. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous
5. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.
6. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.
7. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did.
8. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...
9. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.
10. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.
11. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.
12. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him.
13. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.
14. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.
15. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.
16. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.
17. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.
18. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.
19. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.
20. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.
21. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
22. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.
23. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.
24. Don't marinade in cologne, but smell good.
25. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a second.
***UPDATE!! -- January 10, 2005; 11:42 p.m.***
I saw this on tanhuan's site today, kinda has the same purpose, but is a little different:
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Things Guys Should Know About Girls (with my own twist in italics) <--my=tanhuan's
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out. --Not always, but don't risk it.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say you understand when you don't. --Back to #1, don't lie.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is ALWAYS the Prettiest! --And let her know that!
5. You don't have PMS; don't fuckin act like you know what it's like. --And don't hold it against us if we're irritable and moody.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. --Those sweet simple little things can get you out of trouble...
7. If you talk about having a big dick; we know you don't. --HA!
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want real relationships. --It's the size of your heart that matters.
9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big. --Arrogance won't impress anyone.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys, not us. --We don't care about all the special technical things you've done to your car... well.. just some.
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. --Ok, not that harsh. But don't be talking about her when your girl is around.
12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes. --Exactly.
13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize. --Just make it all better and say you're sorry.
14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it. --We like surprises. Just make 'em good.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. --You are too, probably.
16. We are DrAmA queens. --We all are, to an extent.
17. Fashion police do exist. --Totally.
19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about... in other words shut the fuck up --There are things you talk to your friends about and things you talk to your girl about. Know the difference.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times. --Not all times, but often.
21.We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it. --If I feel like it, I might shave them once in a while. It's not like I care.
22. Don't make bets about us; we will always find out. --Exactly.
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we always hate it. --Not true. I like manly stubble. Just make it look manly, not like hobo.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it isn't, so DONT.. --That's fine when you're out with the guys, but not when you're with girls.
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. --Really, it's not.
27. We are beautiful at all times. --Right.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't. --Right.
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it. --Hahaha....
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